Pirates of the Spanish Main: Here thar be Monsters

Alfie's Journal - 002
Getting Our First Ship

No sooner did we get aboard Wolverston's ship, The Mermaid's Trumpet (I don't really know what that means), everyone decided to take one of the Spanish ships.  Despite never working together on a ship we all did pretty good. Mack took the Pilot's Wheel and that concerned me a little.  But I guess he did ok, 'cause he only scraped the dock a little bit and it didn't hurt anything.

Anyway, we got up to the ship really fast, but on our way, the Spanish dogs fired two of their cannon at us! Luckily, they missed like the shit eating dung beetles that they are.  I'm not sure that makes sense, but I just love to call Spaniards "Shit eating dung beetles".  

Ok, so there we were coming up along side the Spanish ship and I thought I would try the same trick again where I call out, "Sálvame señor!" which means "Save me sir!" after climbing up the rigging and swinging across on a rope. I guess in all the excitement, my foot slipped and I ended up hanging upside down in the rigging for a moment.  Well, I was able to right myself and grab a rope and swing across. 

I jump off the rope right next to this big guy with a boarding axe. I cry out "Sálvame señor!", but it looked like he didn't believe me.  He raised up his axe to hit me when suddenly he disappeared into a fine red mist.  Then I realized that the Funny Little Man (Hammy) had been screaming something.  I look back to the Mermaid's Trumpet and see him screaming and dancing in joy right next to a cannon holding a burning taper.  I've never liked anyone more than Hammy at that moment.  

Then the other Spaniard next to me dropped his gun and put up his hands as another one jumped overboard.  I looked around and while I was trying to climb the rigging and swing across, my friends had killed almost everyone on the ship.  

We realized that we had two seaworthy vessels and might have a chance of getting away with both of them.  We sent Dom back across to Wolverston and had them sail in front of us.  Then we all put on Spanish breastplates and helmets and pretended like we were chasing them.  We even fired the cannons at them to make it convincing.  Luckily those stupid Spaniards believed that we were just chasing down a ship and let us go without any "help".

Once everything calmed down we all started exploring the ship.  I went looking for hidey holes and crawl spaces.  I found two really good ones that I don't think anyone will find until we unload all the cargo.  While I was exploring one of them, I noticed Hammy had dragged out a big locked box.  He kept calling for everyone to come down, but they were all above deck and couldn't hear him. So Hammy goes running up the stairs to get everyone.  I jumped down and grabbed a nail laying nearby and popped the lock open.  I have never seen so many pieces of eight and gems and jewels in my life!  There were also some papers, so I started looking at them just as most of the crew comes down, including Mack who was supposed to be piloting the ship.  Hammy also had a manifest that listed all of the cargo, even the loot in the big box.  

We know that we don't want Wolverston getting his hands on this, so I have Derry help me get the lockbox up to one of my hidey holes and then I cover it with other crates so you can't see it without moving a bunch of stuff.  After that, I climb down and head above deck.

It seems that I was just in time, because there's Wolverston on deck with that giant of a man, Dom.  As soon as they are on deck, Wolverston starts talking about finding the manifest and the lockbox. I offer to go down into the hold to help them look for it. I managed to convince Dom that I thought I saw someone with a book tucked into their belt jump overboard just as we were taking the ship.  Since he is unable to find it, I think he believes me.  Both Wolverston and Dom are very frustrated at this point and decide that they have to do an inventory.

I offer to help with the inventory.  I made Dom do all the writing as I reported what I found.  Ha ha! He isn't very good at writing so it took a long time.  While we were doing that, I guess the rest of the guys had a discussion about how we should run the boat and so they came down to discuss that with Wolverston.  I thought there might be another fight for a bit, but Wolverston and Dom just said that we should all go above deck to discuss it.  I made sure to get some rum for Wolverston.

A discussion was had and we all voted for a captain. Mack tried to get people to vote for him, so I told everyone that I would sooner be captain than have him be captain.  Don't get me wrong, I like Mack and he's funny, but he could never be a captain.  At that point, Hammy starts crying out "The Boy Captain!". It was really a joke, but I thought for a moment that he might have convinced people.  I think it is good that I didn't end up captain though.  Oh, Hammy actually got elected as captain.  He's really good at talking to people and raising their spirits, so I think he will make a good captain. Not to mention he sure knows how to fire a cannon.  Hmmmmm, maybe he should be Captain Cannon.  As much as I like Hammy, I just don't think it will intimidate anyone.

Well, we get Hammy elected as Captain. but Wolverston says that Hammy should be the captain of the Mermaid's Trumpet. I can tell you that none of us liked that idea and I got worried there might be another fight.  Luckily some of the guys had cool heads like Mathias and they convinced Wolverston, with the help of Dom, that we should be the ones out fighting in this big ship while he relaxed on his boat.

Old Smokey said that now we have to write out the Articles of Agreement and all sign it.  I guess it is the rules we all live by as a member of the ship. I hope they aren't too harsh.  I was a slave once, and I don't want to be one again.  I'll just have to wait and see.  

II - Island Escape
"I'm on a boat!"


Casey – Alfie
Bruce – Derry
Eric – Dun'kno
RJ – Mack
Trip – Hamlet "Hammy"
Allen Ivers – Joseph the Butcher
Allen Curtis – Mathias

XP – 2.

Alfie's Journal - 001
Getting off the Island.

Those sons of bitches from the Big House woke us up in the middle of the night and told us to go load up  a cart.  Why did they pick me?  I'm tiny compared to everyone else…except the funny little man.  I mean, I'm taller, but he outweighs me by a lot.  

Anyway, out we went into the night to load up a bunch of Rum and Sugar Cane.  Well, I started straight away because I didn't want no beatin' again.  And I saw what happened to Thatcher.  I'm going to have nightmares for weeks.  

Anyway, the funny little man starts dancing around and doing a little play or something, but I can tell he wants someone to get the keys to unlock the stockade.  I really didn't want to do it, but he seemed so insistent and nobody else seemed to understand.  Well, I walked over there trying to be casual, like I was going after Zarola and I was able to nick the keys while the two bad men were distracted.

Just as I walked back away from them, I heard a noise like thunder and suddenly the big wooden wall, I think it is called a palisade, was blasted open and one of the bad men got killed right off the bat.  The funny little man pretended that he was dying but I could tell he was just acting again.  I think I like that funny little man.  So, then Derry goes and starts punching the other bad man as I run up the hill to unlock the stockades.  That's when I see that one of them has a hole in it and Ol' Remus is staggering out with blood on him.

Well, I went and unlocked the other stockade and went with the Doctor to help out in the other stockade where people were hurt.  But then we had to run because the really big bad man and his horrible dog started coming down from the Big House.

We ran down to the cart and I helped Thatcher down there 'cause he's the only one that knows how to drive a cart properly.  I helped him in and jumped in the back.  Then we took off and started down the road.  We got shot at, but nobody got hit. We could see that there were a couple of ships in the harbour and they were firing on the Big House property and on the town.

We slowed down and Derry and I scouted ahead to try to find a ship.  Oh, that's right, Old Smokey said that we should find Wolverton and get on his ship and that it was a single masted Sloop.  Well, Derry and me, we looked at the first dock and there was a Sloop there but it was in a sad state.  The mast was all limp and hanging to the side.  

We ran back up to the cart to see if that was the right one, but Old Smokey said it wasn't, so we kept on looking.  The middle dock was on fire and all the docks had longboats filled with those bastard Spanish Dogs in them.  

We had to make our way through town to get to the third dock and everybody was trying to get their stuff and get away before the Spanish Dogs came and stole everything and burned the town down. I figured why not grab something on the way.  I was looking for something that might help us on a boat.  I saw a box and thought it might have something interesting in it.  I opened it up and it had a compass and a journal with a bunch of entries.  I can't wait to sit down and read it.

Well, we went right for the third dock and got in a fight with the Spaniards just getting out of their boat.  Derry sure is good in a fight.  He just punched them until they couldn't stand up.  I helped a little as did some of the others, but it mostly helped distract them so Derry could beat 'em up real good.

Finally we saw Wolverton and he was cutting his lines and casting off.  I knew he was our last chance so I grabbed a cask of Rum and ran as fast as I could toward him.  I started screaming to wait for us and that we have Rum on account of Old Smokey sayin' he was a drunk and liked his alcohol.  That brought him up short.  Some other guy started yelling at Wolverton that they couldn't accommodate all of us, and Wolverton told him tough and that we was getting on if we had rum.  

So, all of us brought on a cask of Rum and a real big black man stacked them up nice.  The yelling guy said that there wouldn't be enough room, so Wolverton had the big guy throw the yelling man overboard.

Now that we are onboard, I sure hope we can get away from those Spanish Dogs.

I - Plantation Escape
"Now we be wagon pirates."


Casey – Alfie
Bruce – Derry
Eric – Dun'kno
RJ – Mack
Trip – Hamlet "Hammy"

XP – 2.




A whip crack breaks the silence of the still air. The courtyard that was so silent a few moments ago is filled with the cries of Ol’ Johnson Thatcher.  Birds content to sit idly on rooftops take flight and scream along with Thatcher as the whip falls again and again on his exposed back. The courtyard is surrounded by the other slaves, mostly political prisoners from the failed Monmouth rebellion against King James and assorted other convicts. They stand out in the noon day sun watching this beating while A few foremen stand on the walkway along the palisade with muskets and the other walking bosses roam through the crowds with clubs at the ready. Bernard Hughs, the head overseer, looks down upon the poor wretch as he lets the whip fly without any kind of emotion…certainly not pity.


Bernard stops, dropping  the whip down to his side, and then turns to the voice while coiling the whip in his hands. Sir Jonathon Randolph Whitby is not a large man but he has a certain commanding presence.  His frock coat cut in the latest fashion seems out of place in the dense humid air of this wild place and His face carries a sternness that makes believable the myth that he carved out the land for his plantation and the nearby Town of Whitby with naught but his acid tongue and a glare. He walks towards the poor prisoner in the center of the courtyard.

“Look well you mangy curs. Many of you forget that it is only through the boundless generosity of my good friend King James who, in his mercy, commuted many of your sentences of death.”

He motions to Thatcher, lashed to a beam serving as a makeshift pillory, the many lashes on his back pouring blood.

“This craven dog attempted to escape last night. He spat upon our good King’s charity and as such spat on all that is well and good in this god forsaken land. Bernard.”

Bernard attaches the whip to a loop on his belt and heads to a fire pit with a handle sticking out. He pulls it out to reveal a brand glowing white hot.

“T. This stands for treason. Any man marked as such will be known as a fugitive traitor…Burn this into your memories lads, lest it be burned in your hide as well! Bernard.”

Bernard takes the brand and places the glowing letter against Thatcher’s cheek. His pitiful wail does not completely drown out the sound of sizzling flesh.

“Here endeth the lesson. Bernard, let them ruminate on this new found knowledge without distraction. Half rations today I think. Feed them and water them half rations. Perhaps next time they will think twice before one of their compatriots tries something like this.”

Bernard places the brand back into fire and motions to his walking bosses who start moving the other slaves along to get their ration of gruel

“…and him?” Bernard nods towards Thatcher.

“Leave him up for awhile and then summon that doctor. Bind his wounds. I expect him ready to work before the sun comes up. Hell isn’t ready for him yet. Wolverston has just sailed into port and we need to have our goods transported to the dock and loaded out before the dockmaster awakens…My agents will have his head swimming in rum tonight, making tomorrow’s inspection much easier. I swear, deliver me from honest dock masters…bribery may be more expensive but it isn’t nearly as much work…”

Whitby and Hughs walk out of the courtyard and on towards the big house making plans for tonight’s illicit operation while slaves receive their meager gruel in a silence only broken by Thatchers moans or a foreman’s curse.


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